Last week was kind of a reflective week for me because last week was supposed to be both my dad and brother's birthday. Why i say supposed to be is because both are no longer around which made me even sadder. I miss them both so much because at times, i reflect back and wonder how things would have been different if they were both here.
I remember dad being very jovial, laughing about everything and always having an advice about everything and anything. He would always joke about himself being a millionhaire and not a millionaire. He had his ways with people and always making friends with strangers. I used to be so shy cause even sitting in a taxi for 20 mins with him would end up with the taxi driver telling my dad about his life history..i mean..like..hello..i don't even know you?? but that is dad..he has this karma about him enabling people to be comfortable around him.
I remember going through a very bad break up with my ex and turned to him for advice. This is what he told me.."you know girl, having a new boyfriend is like having a new chewing gum..so you chew and chew and after time, it turns stale and you either spit it out or for some reason or another, it comes out of your mouth. Now, after the gum comes out and lands on the floor, don't tell me you still want to go down and pick it up and chew it back again??"
OK, so his advice wasn't the best advice you can get and it doesn't make sense too..haha..but it certainly put a smile on my face and i was laughing about he could use that as an advice for me..but it was his effort which touched me and i just hugged him.
Recently, I was going through my photo albums and just realised I never had a recent picture taken with him. All the photos i had was when i was young. I am sad and I wondered, did i take it for granted that he would always be around until i miss every opportunity to have my picture taken with him? I would do anything to have my picture taken with him now..just one last piece to show my kids who their grandfather was.
There is so much more I want to learn from him. About his past, about his childhood, things I have never asked because I was too selfish being bogged down by my own life, never asking what he went through in life. I only know bits and pieces and I regret not knowing now. I guess we go through life with regrets but this is one of my biggest regret in life. Not truly and fully understanding my dad on who he is, how he was raised, his values and life he had to go through but in my heart, he will always be remembered and loved as my dad, my rock and my role model in life.